Are you scared? Is Fear holding you back?
If this is the case, I can tell you now, It’s not your fault…
STORIES YOU WERE TOLD
Maybe you were told all the horror stories growing up about how birth was this scary thing to be feared. Maybe your mum passed down stories about how you were born that put the fear of God into you. If not your mum then another matriarch with a tale to tell.
This is very common and really, it can’t be helped. When we have children, more often than not, we want to be able to share the experience with someone. Whether it’s good or bad…
The thing is, when you hear stories that paint birth in a negative light these are internalised and you begin to believe them as truth. As you grow up these stories are reinforced by what you see on TV, read in the papers and watch in movies…. No wonder your scared! Its not bad or wrong to feel this way so don’t beat yourself up for it.
HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL
Its during this time that all of those internalised stories start to come to the surface. But not in a straight forward obvious way, but in a sneakier back handed kind of way. If you are already prone to worrying, the unknowns of pregnancy can simply add to your current anxiety.
You feel anxious and begin worrying about all of the things related to your pregnancy. You feel panicky and apprehensive about the birth and motherhood in general. You question your ability to go through with it and wonder if you are going to be up to the job. Anxiety and fear when you are pregnant feels like crap. It feels confusing and even possibly isolating.
Well, I am here to tell you that the stories that are running in your head that tell you birth is dangerous, birth is messy, birth is painful and that you aren’t good enough are just that….. Stories!!
OUR BELIEFS SHAPE OUR REALITY
Beliefs are just thoughts and stories that we have running over and over in our heads. If you can change the story, you can change the belief… You can change how you feel about your birth.
Thankfully, worrying is just a habit you have learned over the years which means that anything that can be learned, with practice, can also be unlearned.
Here are some strategies you could try in order to put some of these worrying thoughts to bed and help you feel chilled, relaxed and as happy possible instead of being uptight, tense and nervous.
RELEASE AND LET GO……THREE STEP PROCESS
- ACKNOWLEDGE: The first step is to simply recognise when you are getting into a worry loop. Once you are aware, ask yourself “Do I want to feel worried/anxious/scared [insert feelings here], or do I want to feel better?” Asking this question puts you back in control of your process (rather than being at the mercy of it)
- RELEASE: The next step is to release the thought and think about something that makes you smile or feel better. Perhaps think about something or someone you appreciate.
- REACH FOR A BETTER FEELING THOUGHT: Keep reaching for that better feeling thought until you are able to sustain that feeling.
Practice this simple, yet effective, three step process to help move you from fear and worry to chill. This is a gradual thing so you need to practice this in order to become better at working your way through the steps. Continuing to choose to focus your attention on more positive thoughts will make a massive difference so its worth putting in the practice of doing this.
Time to flex that positivity muscle lady!! You got this 😊
Please come and join the Taylor Made Birth Community group on Facebook . I would love to welcome you xx