Does your partner think Hypnobirthing is all a load of hippy mumbo jumbo and what you really need to think about is more important things like, which pushchair to choose, or what colour to decorate the nursery?
When it comes to objections and reasons why hypnobirthing might not be for them, the issue of what the birth partner thinks is a very common thing that comes up in conversations with mums to be.
And this is normal. I get it.
The thing is, we often don’t realise how much influence our partners have on our decisions until we look back and realise what actually went down!
Many years ago, I worked with teenage parents. One of the biggest challenges I had when working with this group was the uptake of breastfeeding.
What I noticed, was when the mother had a supportive partner (or family member) then BF was more successful. When, however, the mother reported having people in her life who were not supportive, she was much more likely to give up.
Partners matter. What they think matters…
Up to a point. And then……what matters most is what YOU feel you need and what action steps YOU can take to achieve the best possible birth.
But you don’t have to do it alone. Having your birth partner on board is key to helping you to have a successful birth because, guess what? Its a team effort!
The thing is, everything I teach is based in science.
There is nothing hippy or mumbo jumbo about any of this amazing work and that’s why I bloody love it so much!
This is also the reason why I end up having birth partners sing from the rooftop about these techniques, because they end up seeing for themselves how powerful they are.
They come to realise that if you are happy, then they also feel really good too. Because teamwork makes the dream work…..right?
So how can you bring your partner on board with Hypnobirthing? Here are my top tips….
- Hit them with facts and figures, because it’s all based in science. Hypnosis isn’t hippy mambo jumbo; it’s been scientifically proven to shorten labour, increase natural hormones needed to help the body do its thing and reduces the need for pain relief and medical interventions. It’s bloody awesome!
- Giving birth is a collaboration aka a team effort! Your birth partner doesn’t know it yet, but they have one of the most important jobs to do (apart from yours of course) in helping things move along as smoothly as possible. Being a spare part in this process is no longer an option as they will be taught how to be fully involved. Your partner will learn how to act as gatekeeper during the birth, keeping unnecessary strangers at bay and literally cocooning the mother in a protective bubble. The Calm Birth Method Hypnobirthing course will teach him or her how to do this and more.
- Get clear on the physiology and the impact of hormones on birth. What I mean here is that it’s super important that your partner understands how the hormones in your body are working and how these can be affected by your environment, your interactions and even your mood. In particular, the love hormone, Oxytocin is the one your partner needs to know about, the conditions that it thrives in as well as conditions that prevent it from flowing freely.
- If your partner can ladle on that good stuff (and I mean things like, holding your hand, stroking your hair, giving you a kiss and cuddle, looking you in the eye and telling you ‘re the most incredible human on this planet) and be present for you emotionally as well as physically then they will be on track for helping you to have a calm and gentle birth experience.
- And finally, make sure they know the birth plan inside out. The reason for this is to be able to step up if things don’t quite go to plan (which is not uncommon!). There are many tricks they can employ to get the birth back on track, and on a HB course, they (and you) will learn the framework needed that will help you have those conversations with your care providers. This will give you the space to stay in your zone, will instill confidence in you AND your partner and reduce any self doubt that can often creep in when unknown scenarios pop up.
Last month I chatted about this with a couple who did a private course with me. Dad, Sam, talks about his experience which you can watch over on Insta here. The experience changed his life!
If you would like to sign up to a Calm Birth School Hypnobirthing course with me, then head over to the ‘courses’ page and register. You wont regret it!
That’s all for today my loves